The Book of Me

PART 1 (Entries 1-5) Entry #1: It's been a week since you left and I still have no words. I have so many thoughts and so many feelings but to find how to eloquently put them down on paper has me curling up in a ball and crying... again. Entry #2: I fear for tomorrow as I take Mackenzie to school without you. I have done it before when you weren't well enough to go or had appointments, but this time is so different. I had always come back to you. Now I will come back to an empty house. That emptiness fills my heart too. There is a hole never to be filled again. You took a piece, a chunk of me when you left that day. I am thankful you have us with you, but I don't know how to live without a piece of my heart. I know a piece of you still lives in my heart and I feel you, I feel you around me every day, every minute but it pains me not to be able to see you, feel you or hear you. I keep asking why, asking so many questions even though I know the answers are all in my hea

What do you say when Your 7 almost 8 year old son says he just wants to be like normal What do you say when you watch your son try to roll over and get on his knees for 20 mins yelling he wants to do it himself but can't What do you say when You little boy cries out I hate myself in frustration What do you say when he texts you and says I will never be able to do anything again to move like I used to and what do you say when He says I am sorry mom What do you say when You can't say it's going to be ok or you are going to get better You don't say anything at all. You let the tears run down your face and hold him love him and comfort him as you face the pain of this reality together. (Written about two weeks before he passed away)